Mindful Mondays: What we most need to hear when we’re struggling

'Fear only moves us away from reason, perspective, kindness and love.'

Revelstoke pictured from Mt. Revelstoke the morning after rains swept through on Aug. 16. Photo: Aaron Orlando/Revelstoke Mountaineer Magazine

After a year and a half of being involved in a global pandemic, owning a business that has been so heavily affected by it, financial uncertainty, solo parent, feeling lonely, and living in a province that honestly feels like an apocalypse the last month and a half due to forest fires – AND what feels like a biblical unraveling the last 18 months, I have to be honest I gotten pretty worn down.

Anyone with me? Maybe it’s just me…

As I ponder the state of the world and my personal tiny world I can feel overwhelmed and well … sad.

The darker I feel the more negative my inner dialogue can get. Sometimes I’m wondering how I ended up alone in it all of this, not having the security of a partner and other times I’m so grateful I wasn’t having to navigate the stresses that any relationship had to face in recent times.

My thoughts can ping pong around like this, frankly about any topic. All these wild thoughts drift in and out of my mind. Like a river in spring, sometimes flooding my experience and other times I can’t even hear them because of the low volume of water trickling by.

In my dark moments, I could use a house elf (excuse another Harry Potter reference) that supports and lulled me to sleep with the words I most need to hear. In those times maybe this would help, maybe you need to hear them too.

  • You’re not alone, I know you feel it, but there are people who love you, you just are looking away from them, that’s why you can’t see them.
  • Stop looking at the people that don’t like you, and creating stories about being unlikable. Look at the people who like you and tell the stories of why you’re likeable.
  • You’re not fat – just stop it.
  • Stop second guessing your creativity, just go with it.
  • You’re smart enough.
  • We fixate on things to make us happy, but those things can’t talk to us.
  • Everything is not your fault.
  • You have what it takes.
  • Just rest, and do a little less.
  • You’re not going to be alone forever, you’re not too old, boring – you’re sexy, kind, and worthy of love.
  • You’re not meant to spend your life fixing everything others don’t love about you.
  • You’re enough, just as you are.

I’m not suggesting we bypass our sadness completely, but I do think we all need to flip the switch in our minds to funnel in things we need to hear instead of fixating on our own B.S.

Anything that makes you feel scared, that provokes anxiety and stress isn’t real. It’s fear, whether self invoked or provoked by the media etc., you have the capacity to weather any storm and you don’t have to be scared. Fear only moves us away from reason, perspective, kindness and love.

I’m speculating that we’re all here on this earth for a reason, it doesn’t have to be a get rich and famous, nor do you need to be the next Martin Luther King Jr. It’s more simple and less glamorous, but you’re here, you’re meant to be here and the only way to make the most of this life is to put yourself out in the world, ask ‘how can I help’ more often and find ways to do it.

Maybe reach out to someone you love today and tell them something you never say to them. It could be exactly what they needed to hear.

Noelle Bovon

Editor’s note: Apologies for the Tuesday publication of a Monday column! Our bad, not Noelle’s!