Bill C-51: Our Revelstoke terror war top 10 list!

The Revelstoke Mountaineer takes a different tack on the new Canadian terror war media craze and localizes the issue

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Kootenay–Columbia MP David Wilks' recent column consists of government terror war messaging cut and paste into the column. Photo: Contributed by MP David Wilks

While perusing online, I noticed the apparent Stephen Harper fans over at the Revelstoke Current have cut and pasted Kootenay-Columbia MP David Wilks’ column into their online publication. (Terrorism requires a firm response, Feb. 12, Revelstoke Current Op-Ed.)

It was so rousing, some fellow Conservative MPs plagiarized entire paragraphs verbatim from MP Wilks, such as Elgin-Middlesex-London MP Joe Preston in the Port Stanley News (that paper offers impeccable coverage of the Port Stanley Festival Theatre), Fort McMurray–Athabasca MP David Yurdiga in the Athabasca Advocate (a voice for Athabasca in the Athabasca region), and Selkirk–Interlake MP James Bezan in the Interlake Spectator (you’re just one click away from a beef taco recipe that fills out the editorial page the same week the column was printed. The secret? Pico de Gallo — or PEEKO duh GUY-oh the writer adds helpfully for the benefit or readers from the Interlake part of the Selkirk-Interlake riding).

Of course, David Wilks didn’t write most of this column at all! I was nearly fooled by the big picture of MP Wilks next to the column and the previous paragraph attributed to the MP: “As I travel throughout Kootenay–Columbia, I hear constituents over and over saying that these threats require as strong response.”

That flourish, my friends, is what you call localizing it. In fact, in the years since he’s been elected, some of MP Wilks’ ‘columns’ have been wholesale cut-and-pastes, probably originating from somewhere within the Conservative Party of Canada or the Prime Minister’s Office. In the past I’ve communicated to his staff that I’m not interested in taking part in the charade by publishing these ‘columns.’

Taking the view that local media should reflect local issues, I’ve localized the debate on the dangerous Bill C-51 and its potential disastrous consequences for privacy, taking the view that the bill just isn’t needed here in Revelstoke.

Top 10 reasons Harper’s terror law C-51 isn’t necessary in Revelstoke

  1. Slow Internet speeds in Revelstoke already neutralize terror organizations’ recruitment capability here. The terrorists’ slick, Hollywood-style recruitment videos take forever to download or just keep cutting out when they’re streamed. This huge turnoff just annoys curious would-be terrorists.
  2. Local “anti-petroleum” terrorists content to sit pat with high gas prices in Revestoke, figuring nobody can afford to buy gas anyway.
  3. Revelstoke’s highways of death are already an effective barrier against radicalized locals heading to foreign war zones. Joining roiling, internecine conflicts in the Middle East is too risky, too dangerous to contemplate if it means a winter drive to Calgary International Airport.
  4. Terror groups content to adopt wait-and-see strategy in Revelstoke, hoping the Canadian government collapses in Columbia region after waves of highway construction promises go unfulfilled and an angry populace rises up, creating a power vacuum in which terror actors thrive.
  5. Current Revelstoke suspected terrorist under surveillance by CSIS sought terrorist funding for a new snowmobile, but really he just wanted the sled and was thinking outside the box.
  6. Massive supercomputer-driven surveillance of all Internet traffic in Revelstoke reveals little more than skiing/sledding helmet cam uploads, boring the heck out of Canuck spies forced to analyze them, thus degrading Canada’s counter-terrorism capabilities.
  7. Self-reliant Revelstoke doing OK without the yoke of the planned perennial terror-war dystopia; residents prefer a political agenda that is connected to real life.
  8. Too-broad terror definition includes activities that undermine “public safety” or “the economic or financial stability of Canada,” and will likely mean harmless Revelstoke ski bums become collateral damage due to sketchy townie-bike riding and lack of year-round employment.
  9. Federal government threats to legislate CP Rail running trades back to work leads to inadequate resolution that may not address extreme fatigue issues amongst engineers and conductors, creating a more plausible risk of a disaster for Revelstoke. Government doesn’t need to snoop on your computer or phone use to solve this issue. They didn’t need to do anything at all.
  10. Current Canadian strategy of providing inadequate support for the mentally ill paying off in spades in terror arrests.

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Editor’s note: I wrote this one a month ago but it got lost in the shuffle on my computer. Or maybe CSIS agents ‘lost’ it for me.

 

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Aaron Orlando is the creative director of revelstokemountaineer.com and the Revelstoke Mountaineer Magazine. Call or text Aaron at 250-814-8710